- Everything has changed.
- If only I knew then what I know now...
- Forget 2007. It's 1937 all over again!
- Did I even have a 'Top 10' last year?
- After a conversation with myself, it turns out that I'm too carried away with the disruptive nature of cloud computing to actually move forward on anything meaningful.
- Sorry about No. 5 -- makes no sense to me either. I promise to do better with No. 7.
- I'll fight, I'll fight, I'll fight the notion that hindsight is 20/20.
- My carbon footprint has no shoes.
- While we're waiting around for No. 10, is there anyone alive who still doesn't know that friken TV is switching from analog to digital on Feb. 17, 2009? If they had taken as much time to warn us about the Telecommunications Act of 1996, we might still care.
- As Ernie Banks would say, 'All will be fine in 2000 and 9'.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Advertisement near the escalator at the Clark & Lake El Stop in Chicago:
'Smarter than a doofus who bought one of these things (your doofus may vary).'
Larger image here...
The annual online State of Illinois Ethics test is coming round again. All State of Illinois employees have to take it.
This is the test that famously disqualified thousands of participants last year not for getting the answers wrong but for getting them right in too little time.
So this is how I plan to 'game' the system this time round: After answering the first bunch of questions, I'll go out and rob 5 banks, shoplift enough school supplies to last me a whole year, steal the identities of six dozen people, and swallow half a pound of grapes at the supermarket without paying for them. This will still leave me enough time to get back to the office and complete the test.
Problem solved.
Update [11/13/2007]: So I passed the thing with flying colors -- sort of like last year. I'm not too proud to say I did learn one thing: If you're employed by the State of Illinois, you can't accept as much as a bunny rabbit from someone doing business with you but if you're running for office, the same person can contribute $100k to your campaign.
That's ethics in Illinois.
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Mon, 10/08/2007 - 1:50pm.
[Spoof based on the latest attempts at censorship by telco giants AT&T & Verizon]
CensorFree™ allows you to send and receive communications free of any interference on our part!
You can now communicate with whomever you like about whatever you like, unencumbered by our normal restrictions -- for the low introductory price of $9.99 a month*! With CensorFree™, you can:
- Avoid our normal vetting process as to what we consider "decent" and "appropriate".
- Speak your mind without us jamming or otherwise altering your content.
- Receive timely notification when we forward your material warrant-free to Federal authorities.
Eligibility and Requirements
- Caller and recipient must both subscribe to CensorFree™ -- otherwise the service only works in one direction.
- Caller and recipient must both be 18 years or older and agree to our "Telco Declaration of Personal Moral Probity".
- Contract lasts till caller and recipient are deceased and/or billing information becomes unavailable.
Restrictions
CensorFree™ supports text-messaging, web-surfing and email communication. We cannot promise that it will include any service or combination of services that we may offer in the future.
__
* Federal and State taxes along with other fees and assessments not included.
This one was funny. It comes from a spoof site called 'Drivl.com' which accepts user-submitted posts.
Step 4 for Getting Square Corners in CSS:
Squeeze the drippings from an uncooked 12 oz porterhouse steak onto the butcher paper, smear the steak around until a greasy sheen is clearly visible.
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Sat, 02/24/2007 - 1:17pm.
Submission for the redesign of 'captcha' according to humanistic principles (patent pending):
Posted in Submitted by Leo Klein on Wed, 02/21/2007 - 12:36pm.
